Good Morning and a Happy New Year...

 your Bengal eyes sparkle like phosphorus
like night ferryboats that cross the Bosporus

you killed the lights and left, and became invisible
smog that the wind breaths, in a city mechanized

your bengal eyes, are a holocaust
and the loneliness is falling like rain on the ground

i am imprisoned in your flavor, in your name
and your eyes, yes, your eyes the shivering bengals

your Bengal eyes sparkle like phosphorus
like night ferryboats that cross the Bosporus

Άναψα όλα τα φώτα κι έδωσα παράσταση
Σαν πεθάνει η αγάπη δεν γνωρίζει ανάσταση

Τα βεγγαλικά σου μάτια φέγγουν σαν τον φώσφορο
σαν νυχτερινά καράβια που περνούν τον Βόσπορο
Έκλεισες το φως και πήγες, έγινες αόρατη
Νέφος που το πήρε ο αέρας σε μια πόλη αυτόματη

Τα βεγγαλικά σου μάτια ένα ολοκαύτωμα
και η μοναξιά να πέφτει σα βροχή στο πάτωμα

Είμαι πια εγκλωβισμένος στ’ άρωμά σου, στ’ όνομά σου
και στα μάτια, ναι, στα μάτια, τα ψυχρά βεγγαλικά σου

Τα βεγγαλικά σου μάτια φέγγουν σαν τον φώσφορο
σαν νυχτερινά καράβια που περνούν τον Βόσπορο

Nargile + Lebanon = Che Guevara

Prelude...

The radio was playing an Arabic song, or rather a song in Arabic that i knew so very well - the tunes of "Comandante Che Guevara". I thought he's so loved in the Middle East, they translated the whole song. half a second later I felt how I detested it, how no other version but the Spanish could relate the story any better, even to those who speak no Spanish. I expressed this though outloud and the driver laughed his victorious laugh, the one that means "Lady, your perception of the Arabic is very embryonic". he explained it was a commercial for a nargile. Nargile is most fashionable. Well, it's always been. But add nargile to the booming semi-pubbing everything and anything industry and you've got yourself a profitable business in the ancient land of phoenicians.

It's not the pub, it's what the pub...

One can't ask for a full scale pub as we know it in Europe, well, Northern EU Member States, to be precise. I, too, being a proud outcast from the land of Eurasia, a fancy word the ex-USSR citizens like to associate with, never particularly liked being in the pub, but as an Irish friend explained to me - "you shouldn't focus on the pub, you should focus on what the pub represents", e.g.

-close to the office,

-accessible for anger management and burger+cigarettes+beer combination at lunchtime,

-a place to write one of those lousy office reports required either by your underlings or upperlings,

-emergency relationship discussion spot at a random 3pm meeting with a friend,

-Happy Hours,

-Friday evening after-work gathering of all colleagues to get relatively drunk in order to better strategize how to construct the bridge, under which to release the murky waters of damaged relationships caused by office politics,

-Saturday night live bands, hopeful meetings with a one-night-stand-turned-into-regular-date-turned-into-girl/boy/friend-with-a-potential-of-a-life-partner, and

-Sunday hangover cures at 4pm....

-Something interesting to talk about on Monday morning at the office...

Yes, the Eurasian me found this long list too demanding, too much waste of time, money, energy. I'd prefer a place that for European standards would be considered too fancy. What if I wanted to wear something really really nice, put a nice make-up, go out with friends to a fancy place where I could have something I can't cook in my kitchen (which I think the standard for anyone going to restaurants, hence, the simplicity of menus anywhere North of Vienna for a what American's call "an average citizen" in terms of economic and social standing), not discuss office politics, not be obliged to be too close to various perspirations of people around me, not fight for a chair, not sit at a table from mahogany that's been absorbing too much pub humidity and scents witness to remnants of someone else's physical and spiritual pub antiques and/or antics, not really try and convince someone that I'm REALLY married and only at the pub because it's a TEAM-BUILDING trip, not try and explain why even though I'm from Armenia, I'm not from Russia and no, it wasn't them who attacked Georgia first... What if I wanted to return home looking exactly as sober and fresh as when I left home... usually, I'd end up making a long list of compromises-vs-requirements every single time I had to face the pub, even if it was a friend's birthday party.

Enter Lebanon...

Knowing how much insufferable my Saturday night fever was, some nearly felt sorry for my departure to Lebanon, as if I'd be stuck somewhere in public-transportation-less Beirut just as murky waters under a bridge in a subconsciousness of a pub of Western denomination. But just as I expected Lebanon's nightlife has the same power of welcoming with an open embrace as the old aunties, uncles, relatives, friends living in Beirut. Especially when it comes to Gemmayzeh, a little street in the historical center of Beirut with at least two-centuries-old buildings astonishingly preserved (some well, some not well),. Gemmayzeh is Beirut's answer to bar hopping. It's taken to a VIP level if compared to an "average pub". They're clean, expensive, have valet parking services, waiters snatch the unnecessary items from the tables faster than one can utter shukran (which is why i guess no one says shukran as much as one had to say "thank you" or "merci" to comparably very lazy waiters in the "other" pubs), the interiors are outstandingly decorated, everyone is beautiful, everything is beautiful, even the music is beautiful, well the acoustics are beautiful because it's absolutely possible to both enjoy the music AND conversations with friends without the loss of voice cords or hearing... And, there is the nargile... It's funny how a cigarette smoke hater can absolutely not mind the nargile smoke your friend just covered you with... It's as dangerous as second hand smoking but there's something delicious about this death-by-a-friend-ly-nargile... And at this point I can proudly say that I overcame my fear of smoke by

"It's not about the nargile, it's what nargile...."

Little by little i discovered that when you place a nargile anywhere, that place ultimately becomes a pub... Here, you can pose and have about 10 minutes to daydream about this concept... Start from a fancy restaurant, go through a techno dance club, neighborhood cafe, pizza place, garden, home... Nargile is the ultimate shrink of Eastern denomination. It makes people talk, even when they don't... It make s a woman truly look mysterious and victorious, everlastingly beautiful, even if she's smoking her long list of problems away -

- lack of electricity, water and other essncials,

- kids problems,

- friends problems,

- relationship problems,

- war and peace,

-future and past...

Nargile is the one utility that can have one think locally and act globally. It's a silent secret weapon of mass instruction, it's the rosary beads that can bring together people of various social/religious/gender/political groups together at one table and make them calm at each other's presence...

Last month I read that Hamas was about to ban women from smoking nargile in public spaces because it was un-feminine... Such a big misconception. Unhealthy - yes, unfeminine - no. It is an escape, an exit strategy for a woman who's been running like a hamster in a wheel for the whole day... Wherever you go in the evening Beirut, women beautiful, women well dressed, women speaking softly, women with smiles and/or sadness, women young and old, women dressed in burqa or not, women with kids or not, with families or friends, but women always with nargile, the sounds of it filling up the air adding to the symphony of a Middle Eastern evening. It's the most important tool of cross-cultural or inter-cultural or intra-cultural communication or whatever else "experts of Western denomination" would have the nargile pheomenon classified...

A classification of an Eastern denomination would sound something like this: when banning smoking, one should separate the concepts of smoking and smoke... banning smoking as in smoking cigarettes dumped onto the developing and/or underdeveloped world is a very good, very necessary idea and campaign... Banning smoke not so easy... There's a lot of emotions invested into a nargile, every time someone blows a smoke away from nargile in the Middle East, a prayer for peace in direct or indirect manner is released onto the universe. the smoke for such a prayer is a necessary commodity to living and not merely surviving. Thus, in this case of cigarettes vs. nargile, nargile serves a purpose of a global necessity. To further support this point, one can find both cigarettes and nargile in Middle East's pubs, but one can never find nargile in Europe's pub who're suffering losses because of the ban on smoking. There ARE such things as Nargile Bars in Europe, though. The disciplinary aim of such a place is to go, sit on red cushions stuffed with sponges of suspicious quality, enter a realm of smoke acoustically irrelevant to the state of mind one has at the moment of entry, there are no cooked, uncooked, undercooked delights offered as garnishes... In short, the nargile is decreased from its notrious standard onto a lowly cigarette level... A better solution would be offering nargiles at Cuban cigar lounges, the sole places where one can smoke in Europe these days... And THAT's when it hit me that Che Guevara had somehow become the symbol of unity of cigar (without "ette"s) of Western denomination and nargile of Eastern denomination... They're both about peace that come at high cost.

Russian media scoop of the day - Football as a Common Denominator of the Upcoming Global Economic Shift

Grishoyedova

FIFA's choice of Russia as a host for the World Cup 2018 has headlined everything everywhere. The Russian media's outcry has been mercilessly honest in that not only the country celebrates a unique chance to enjoy a non-stop global point of visualization for an entire World Cup, but the Kremlin has now gotten a unique chance to have every single official in the government apparatus at regional and local levels to walk on tiptoes and outperform in efficiency stats for the next 8 years. While Putin sent off his Deputy to represent Russia in FIFA's draw in Zurich, he was the first to break into the country-wide clamor of happiness and joy with an intensity of a Russian bath interrupted.

A. As Nezavisimaya Gazeta reports, in his press conference Putin immediately reversed any comments about rumors on corruption of certain FIFA officials, calling for all to focus on the great deeds FIFA is accomplishing by uniting the youth of the globe and educating in them a spirit of healthy lifestyle, hope and opportunities for lifetime achievement.

B. He then went on to detail how RF will cope with the preparatory works that will run an expense account of 300bln rubles (approximately 10bln USD) and will demand concerted and effective teamwork of all relevant federal and regional government agencies. He then, without flinching, absolutized the framework of public-private partnership for the forthcoming works by calling the one football loving oligarch to open his wallet and spend some money on his homeland's efforts for "he has plenty of money". Of course he meant the Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich and of course he mentioned his name as such right from the blue TV screens, reminding that everyone knows how Mr. Abramovich made a fortune from his native Chukotka and it's time that he contributes more than merely sponsoring a single club. Other private partners already recruited for the envisaged construction of two large stadiums were also named - LUKoil and VTB Bank.

C. Izvestya's take on the event was a print version of CNN's single-topic breaking news that burst out second after second. The newspaper draws the developments leading to FIFA's pick of Russia by an hourly precision (17:52, 18:10, 18:12, 18:18, 18:30, 18:37 - sounds like a Zurich public transportation schedule but it's definitely worth a read).

Йозеф Блаттер оглашает результаты голосования в Цюрихе (фото: REUTERS)

D. Obama on the other hand was upset with his country's failure to be picked as a host for the games in 2022. Qatar had won the bid and has been leading a huge campaign on home and international fronts for the past three years.

Conclusion: In times of economic crises, it seems even FIFA has been considering the bidding countries' preparedness both in terms of existing facilities and infrastructure, and financial capabilities. Hence the EU bidders, along with the US have been gently pushed aside to pave a way for bidders with more secure guarantees to perform. FIFA's choice in subject thus predetermines a global economic shift, at least as far as the football is concerned.

1. Путин защитил ФИФА от клеветников

Премьер не стал давить на футбольных функционеров личным авторитетом

2010-12-02 / Игорь Наумов http://www.ng.ru/economics/2010-12-02/4_fifa.html

2. Владимир Путин: "У него много денег" 03.12.2010 01:02  | Eurosport  http://sport.rambler.ru/news/football/584626452.html

3. Русское поле Чемпионат мира по футболу 2018 года пройдет в России

Дмитрий Трошин  http://www.izvestia.ru/football/article3149041/ 


4. Б. Обама недоволен решением ФИФА

РБК http://news.rambler.ru/8337161/

Russian media scoop of the day (R+N=L)

Grishoyedova 

There wasn't much sensational in the news of the past two days. It seems the breaking news headlines journalists were taking a break from the intensity of NATO-Russia talks followed by Wikileaks headlines about everyone everywhere that seemingly covered even media majors' work schedules. Nevertheless, I always believed that when they have time, journalists actually write better outside of the fast food chain of media services. Thus, the pages of nearly all serious Russian dailies were covered with rather long analyses on Medvedev's speech at the Federal Council, an important denominator on how he'll do in the upcoming elections, and even longer analyses on what to make of the NATO-Russia talks and all the pro-Western stance the Kremlin has suddenly arrived to.

A huge fan of the Nezavisimaya Gazeta analyses columns on various aspects of internal and external policies of the RF, I nevertheless read through the Kommersant (usually anti-Kremlin in its own cautious, self-censored and diplomatic mannerisms, whereby the reader is always left wondering whose side is the analyst himself on for they avoid to take a stance and make a conclusive point) and Izvestia (always forever pro-Kremlin). Hence, I've only placed a reference link to the one feature of NG I found interesting on today and tomorrow's OSCE meetings in Kazakhstan and have focused instead on the lack of legitimate parallels in the feature analyses on all things Russia and NATO in latest issue of Kommersant's weekly's "Vlast' ".

Kommersant Daily's pages were focused on drawing conclusions on the future of presidential elections in Russia as per Medvedev's speech at the Federal Council. as usual, they're neither here nor there with their conclusions. Yes, Medvedev has pledged more budgetary expenditures in public services for children, mothers, the senior citizens and the army; and somehow, Kommersant is unhappy with that. A pro-elitist stance instead is taken whereby the opposition's view is pushed to the first plan and Medvedev comes out as short of addresses to the "real" problems in the country, which they tuck under the title of "lack of modernisation". From previous developments, it's apparent that Medvedev's stance against corruption IS gaining ground among voters, however the speedy developments post-Luzhkov ousting seem to have surprised the "elitists", a word the oligarchs of all sorts like to call themselves these days. While Medvedev reiterated the lack of democracy in Russia, he hasn't remained ignorant of what it will take to bring a new form of Russian-made democracy to the Federation.

To further their viewpoint, Kommersant have dwelled upon Medvedev's foreign policy from the angle of internal economic situation, supporting their proposition on Medvedev's weaknesses in the feature pages of their political weekly publication "Vlast' ". All kinds of charts and previous citations from Medvedev's and Putin's speeches are used to support the following thesis: every time Russia's economy shows low numbers, Moscow starts to befriend the West and the latter always abuses the gesture by at first going forward and then letting Russia down high and dry.  In a setting of a from-induction-to-deduction analyses it appears that all the failures that have ever happened to the country in its modern history of the past two centuries have been a result of sudden pro-Western sentiments - from the last Czar to Gorbachev, to Yeltsin, to Putin and now Medvedev. 

On the background of the modern rhythm of globalization and heavily variable terms of warfare tactics and security challenges in nearly every conflict point in the world are lightly brushed aside. The internal economic perimeters of the country are viewed in grim numbers merely in relation to Medvedev's administration's recent commitments for closeness with the EU and NATO, which already is reflecting in the new setting of the two regions' policies towards a line of former USSR countries. Kommersant by choice avoids talking of the simultaneous policy draw ups by the President and the Prime Minister in their analogy not falling short of a synchronized swimming worthy of the Olympic Gold.  For the first time in Russia's history the impossible has been achieved -  a well strategized policy package is being executed by a team rather than by a singular leader. The double headed eagle now is actually reflected in the two heads - one leading from the Eastern political point of view and the other -Western.

Indeed, this sounds too philosophical. Nevertheless, the realpolitik of Russia today is a strong leadership of two equally strong leaders who are committed to creating a Russian brand for democracy and there obviously cannot be a room for corruption. Has this upset the continuously oligarch-owned "elitist" media outlets? Refraining from drawing parallels from the simultaneous meetings of Medvedev in Lisbon with NATO leaders and Putin in Berlin with previous and current heads of states invited by Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel to brainstorm on the future of the global economy, the authors claim that Medvedev's warming up with NATO has angered the voters, whose economic situation remains unchanged. Not a word about the recent the crackdown on a rather serious oligarchic structure, even be it in the name of shifting players and rules. Indeed, the end of that tunnel is still unpredictable, but thus far, one breaking news after another have and still are ousting one corrupt official after another. Added by a pledge to decrease the beaurocratic apparatus of the Federal Government by 500,000 employees due to ongoing and well structured government modernization strategies by the end of the year 2011, there seems to be a good strong front against all things holding Russia back from the world and herself. All this, from an internal political perspective.

From an external one, somehow Vlast' "forgets" to analyze the matter from the viewpoint of China's growing overt economic and covert military power, the crises in Koreas, unpredictability of Afghanistan and finally the recent backlash with Iran. Indeed, NATO has every reason to shift its focus from Russia to more "hotter" zones in the meantime taking hold of Russia as a partner not in an "I really do love you" but "Keep your friends close, but enemies closer" manner. This may be suitable for Russia only for a decade. But even within that very decade, EU-Russia , Russia-WTO links have more chances of turning into a real efficient system of long term economic security than ever before in BOTH regions' histories. It is apparent that such convergences happen once in a blue moon, but hey we did have a blue moon the weekend the Russia-NATO new partnership framework was drawn.

The same West Kommersant's "Vlast' " so devotedly abhors (in this particular piece) has provided a rather smooth form of use of media if an indirect black PR campaign is to be led and the authors are using the technic masterfully.  Whereas Putin spoke of a vivid 5 point plan to make a safe and secure and wide economic space from Dublin to Vladivostok at the same time as Medvedev pitched to the opposition to be more professional and more competitive by taking a stance of constructive criticism, Kommersant - renown for its campaigns for human rights abuse cases (against journalists and political prisoners), has this week fallen short of pointing a black spot on Russia's current leadership's face. Have they appeared in the same dilemma as the leaders of Georgia, Ukraine and Belorussia? A shrewd Putin observer would at least have been knowledgeable in one single constant within the entire complex of PM's ongoing tactics of political wrestling - planned ahead, well strategized, unpredictable, unexpected, last minute results with high efficiency. The grim economic situation within the country is on the large part on the shoulders of post Soviet oligarchic structures and uprooting them is the last bunker of that plan. Is Kommersant utterly upset about the "economic reality" or has its oppositionist leadership lost its raison d'étre and is in as much fear as Luzhkov once his ousting was unavoidable? The patterns in both cases are similar. One thing is clear, something is changing in Moscow and it's changing very fast and the media will need to apply a holistic approach rather than localized anesthesia to catch up with what's coming.

1. Путин в интервью CNN пригрозил США новой гонкой вооружений
Газета.Ru, 16 часов назад http://news.rambler.ru/8301752/

2. Эпоха реверанса Журнал «Власть»   № 47 (901) от 29.11.2010 http://www.kommersant.ru/doc.aspx?DocsID=1545978


3. Карабах и новый саммит ОБСЕ

Можно ли сплошными отказами решить конфликт?

2010-11-30 / Владимир Николаевич Казимиров - посол, первый заместитель председателя Ассоциации российских дипломатов, глава посреднической миссии России, участник и сопредседатель МГ ОБСЕ (1992-1996 годы). http://www.ng.ru/politics/2010-11-30/3_kartblansh.html

4. Новый проект Великой Европы
Александр Дугин, завкафедрой социологического факультета МГУ http://www.izvestia.ru/comment/article3148891/

Russian media scoop of the day

Grishoyedova

The scale of corrupted practices in Moscow government's records has finally been put in numbers and publicized. Moscow's new Mayor has formed a committee to decide the future of investment practices in the city of Moscow, pledging to establish a competitive and transparent environment for forthcoming investments and the end of the era of direct investments outside of competition rules. The rules somehow will be applied to a grim reality of existing construction and development contracts covering 40mln sq/m of Moscow's territory. Half of these contracts are considered dead (yes, this is the term used to describe the "promised land", blocked as a "security blanket" and granted to Luzhkov's "favorite" investors. The latter simply hold the titles to the land without having to do any investments until "the territories of influence" have been defined). 50% of the remaining half now have to undergo strict auditing. Thus, out of 1320 contracts granted by Luzhkov's administration, only 200 have been genuine projects. (source - Образец коррупции - Ведомости -  http://news.rambler.ru/8283693/)

***

Russia's representation in NATO confirmed that the agreement with the Alliance on unifying Missile Defense Shields between the two parties is not off the negotiations table (Рогозин опроверг сообщения об отказе НАТО объединять ПРО с РоссиейЛента.Ру, 27 ноября 2010, 00:53 - http://news.rambler.ru/8268083/ ) . In the meantime, PM Putin made a statement about following up on his long-term proposal to create a free trade zone between Russia and EU, saying "the development of lose relations between RF and the EU is inevitable" (Путин считает неизбежным дальнейшее сближение России и ЕСDeutsche Welle, 26 ноября 2010, 19:04 - http://news.rambler.ru/8274959/) . 

The forwardness in Russia-EU and Russia-NATO relations is logically bringing a change in a number of ex-Soviet Republics, particularly the ones whose pro-EU agenda for the past decade has meant a committed anti-Russian stance. With the recent reshuffling of having a pro-Kremlin leader in the Ukraine who nevertheless is committed to its commitments vis-a-vis the EU (Moldova's recent elections have had a similar outcome as well), and an anti-Kremlin leader in Georgia who no longer aspires to cause an armed tension against Russia, Belorussia's has been the most puzzling case. Lukashenko, who even in political circles is called "Batyushka" (roughly means Daddy, but with a heavily traditionalist meaning of the word), is now in an awkward position whereby Russia's anti-corruption, pro-freedom and rights policies have reached to Belorussia as well. The country hasn't had much progress since its independence in the 90s and is still the one country where one can feel home when nostalgic of Soviet urban culture.

For the past two decades all Lukashenko had to do was to speak anti-West, pro-Russia, reject any trade or other types of cooperation agreements with the EU and keep getting commodities (oil and gas, wheat and weapons) from Russia at a much cheaper rate. Now, the tables have shifted, Russia shall trade with Belorussia the same as with everyone else in the region and no longer shall support a despotic leader. In light of upcoming elections in Belorussia, Lukashenko now is the one leading an anti-Russian campaign and the Kremlin silently approves of the heavily pro-EU opposition leader, whose main campaign message is to shed light on the real size of Lukashenko's gains from corruption through contracts with Russia and whose opposition rallies have not been met with the usual strictness of the past two decades. Lukashenko simply disapproved of the rallies but refrained from adding up the list of political prisoners.  (Лукашенко продолжает разыгрывать «антироссийскую карту»Вести.Ру, 12 часов назад - http://news.rambler.ru/8282074/  AND Кандидат в президенты Белоруссии готов судиться с Лукашенко: оспорит слова о деньгах из РоссииNEWSru.com, 26 ноября 2010, 22:30 http://news.rambler.ru/8264475/)

***

Yes, yes, yes, I'm gonna talk about it, too - the WIKILEAKS COMMOTION !!! While from New York Times to Indian Dailies reported about the release of 270,000 diplomatic wires between the State  Department and the US Embassies worldwide. Something even more awkward happened in Switzrland. Basically, Seymour Jenkins - a nice Swiss citizen was walking the streets on Sunday when he noticed a fresh new issue of the German "Der Spiegel" with Wikileaks article referred on the cover. Surprised to see the publication on the kiosk shelf so early, he nevertheless bought one. The article was entirely dedicated to the words the US diplomatic corps used to describe the world leaders with in their casual comminiqués to the DoS. Thus,

• Medvedev - "pale and indecisive"
• Putin - "alpha-male"

--------- (no official response from the Kremlin thus far. Just a Foreign Affairs Ministry official anonymously reported to the Kommersant journalist that the Russian diplomats, too, are very colorful in their descriptions of US leaders)

• Angela Merkel - "not a risk taker, not creative"
• Nikola Sarkozy - "the naked king"
• Hamid Karzai - "paranoic"
• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - "Hitler"

Mr Jenkins then started to twit about his discovery, which prompted other friends and contacts run to the newsstands and get their copies of Der Spiegel. However, by that time the Magazine had been pulled off from the shelves and even its online version lasted for less than an hour. Jenkins then scanned his copy and placed a couple of pages on his Twitter account and started to write little quotes from it. By this morning, the Guardian, Le Figaro and El Pais have all a cover page story on the Wikileaks but there must have been something about the Der Spiegel... (Выложили начистоту

// Сегодняшний компромат с сайта WikiLeaks появился уже вчера Газета «Коммерсантъ»   № 220/П (4520) от 29.11.2010 http://www.kommersant.ru/doc.aspx?DocsID=1548270) 

P.S. I tried to track down the Twitter account of Seymour Jenkins with no avail. Instead, bumped into an article by Guradian's Simon Jenkins on whether Wikileaks has crossed the line. It's a captivating read and albeit in the subject of Russian media scoop, here's the reference - 

US embassy cables: The job of the media is not to protect the powerful from embarrassment

It is for governments – not journalists – to guard public secrets, and there is no national jeopardy in WikiLeaks' revelations

***

The Russian Duma did not approve of a Draft Law proposed by the Communist Party, calling for clearing Stalin's name off the Katynka tragedy dring the WWII. They claimed it was a part of the Nazi propaganda to make it look like Stalin ordered the Polish officers be murdered. However, the majority of the Duma made statement, whereby in reference to the archives it is clearly stated that Stalin's direct orders were the cause of the murders and hence, his name cannot be cleared. (Депутатам-коммунистам не разрешили «фальсифицировать историю» в вопросе о Катынской трагедииGZT.RU, 26 ноября 2010, 14:18 http://news.rambler.ru/8270873/)

TALK to me of my son! - or how to tame an autism in 9 years...

Grishoyedova

Autism! Yes, YOU! Talk to me of my son,

Tell me how he's doing for you won't let him

tell me himself how he feels...

My beautiful boy, my son, 

Whom I whisper "My sun shine" every single day...

He was only 1, but YOU, you're so much older

and bolder than me and him and millions before us...

YOU that had your hands around his throat

When he'd try to utter a word with a 2 year old's charm

and yet... a helpless cry, a cringe was all that would 

bang its way into my heart so broken by YOU...

His cringe and the helpless way in which his eyes would look into mine

For only a second...

Yes, only a second, for YOU -

had not allowed him to look onto me, or his father,or sister, or brother...

YOU'd left him the sideways as angles for him 

to observe all of us..

YOU'd pushed him to corners, to wonder alone, to crawl,

to walk, to look at the birds and the sky

but never at people, never at even himself...

He didn't know he had arms and feet and a heart

YOU'd had him indifferent!

YOUR laughter so dark, so demonic,

shooting pain through my soul, through my mind...

Making me wonder - lost in time and space -

if he'd ever walk by my side, hold my hand,

walk the streets, look the skies, then turn and tell me

"Look Mommy, it's the sun!"...

If he'd ever hold a pen in his hands and write,

or draw on papers, on walls, on curtains...wherever!

If he'd ever utter "I love you" and not helplessly walk around me in circles...

If he'd ever...

God, YOU'd had me in grips and in grieves,

YOU took me and my son's father and turned us

into a Penelope and an Odisseas...

Me - sitting in lonliness and dark...

Him - travelling around, meeting monsters,

Begging monsters - "My son is with YOU! What should we do?"

He'd ask from demigods and elves and mermaids and friends...

Where does this lonely boat lead us?

How many swords should I gain to repel the "YOU-monster"?

YOU had me until one day...that day - exhausted from insomnia

and prayers and tears and heart wrenching beats,

and travels to doctors, to centers, to schools...

ONE DAY - I stopped going around the world,

I started to rotate around myself...

Oh, indeed! I'd rotate around like a dervish -

there was sunshine from windows, but my soul was so darkened by YOU...

I wanted the sun to take YOU out of me...

And I danced, in circles I went, for an hour or so,

The music went on. I forgot where I was, who I was,

And through the motion of blurs I saw HIM

in an utter wonder, standing at one point of the room,

no longer he was listening to YOU and turning his back to me

no longer was he feeling YOU and looking away from me..

He was looking straight into my eyes through the blur,

each time he'd get a glimpse of them, his stared into mine...

And I didn't stop, I turned and I turned and danced the dervish inside me ahead...

Then a miracle happened, he stretched his arms up,

I stopped, took his hands into mine, held them strong,

and around we went, in circles, for more, and for far away,

We'd circle around while his eyes kept straight on

Looking into mine... For the first time EVER!

YOU were gone...

***

Don't be taken aback, these lines are not hopeless,

They're a story of truth on how cruel it is like to be living with YOU,

I've now chased YOU and chained YOU and YOU're listening to me!

And HE - he now talks and he reads and he writes... and he dreams,

And guess what? YOU're not in THOSE dreams!