Background
A 20 year old mother - Zaruhi - having suffered in the hands of her husband and mother-in-law for two years, filled with terror, beatings, humiliation, despicable psychological and emotional pressure, was finally beaten to her death, non-stop, for two days, her fingers cut off for her to be unable to dial a number for help, her knees broken making her unable to as much as crawl to the door, her blood-filled mouth stuffed with a piece of old cloth for her sighs not to be heard...in front of her two year old child...
Miracle
The miracle in this case is miniscule but marks a difference from the ages-old tradition of shutting up, swallowing up sorrow and letting a murderous husband get away with mitigated punishment for there is NO LAW against domestic violence in Armenia... The pitch? The little child shouldn't grow up without her father. So, the father who murdered the mother in front of the very same child is allowed to serve 3 tiny years, then get released and trusted with the education of this little girl.
Zara's family spoke up. Her sister and her sister's mother-in-law, for Zara and her sister are/were orphans and this has had given even more power to the "hosting" family to abuse her in every possible inhumane manner.
Outrage
Naturally, the youtubed interview with Zara's sister, outlining all the shoving away professionally and duly performed by our blessed police, got the position of instant news that wouldn't leave the screens - TV, computer, newspapers, campaigns. The Women's Resource Center, a well fighting and not so well funded NGO, started to push for its four-year old Draft Law Against Domestic Violence to be as much as placed in the Parliamentary agenda.
Everyone learned about Zara. A public outrage followed. No more tucking dust under the carpet. The carpets were out, furniture moved and all the dirt was dancing in bright sunlight. We all saw and expressed our OUTRAGE.
Icing on a Cake
Things were seemingly ok, as the Facebook campaign and the NGOs and the Civil Groups hand in hand started campaigning. Usually, in any other country a female politician or two immediately will pick on the matter, speak out against it. In Armenia's case all we hope for is that our government better not speak. Yes, it's better that they do not speak than come in and try to convince that it happens to everyone, everywhere, it's just another case, let the police do the job (e.g. collecting evidence to prove that "Zara fell off the staircase"!!!), in short, everything calm and pink and bright - Ararat, Apricot, Genocide, Homeland.
And so, the icing on the cake arrived when during the same days of heavy outrage, in an attempt to "save" the image of a saintly Armenian woman that was being tarnished all over the place (really, Zara's sister's speaking out part must have gotten them pissed off (oops, I said a bad word!)), the notorious, the ONLY woman Minister, the one and only Minister of Diaspora comes out and announces the launch of Ms Armenia, whereby Miss Armenia shall be a woman who speaks Armenian (mmmm, I'm sorry, is she aware how many women of Armenian descent in Diaspora do NOT speak Armenian? Does that make them any less Armenian?), cooks Armenian, is as humble as a sheep in Armenia, has family values, traditions, blah blah, blah (remember, the contest is for women UNDER the age of 25).
She says it like nothing happened, no mentioning of Zara... Zara who? Law on Domestic Violence What? Moreover, apparently our Minister promises that with her way of doing things, she's gonna open more doors for more "female politicians" into Armenian politics. Yep, all we have to do to get in is get ticks into checkboxes of her personal questionnaire that comes with recommendations from her mnemonic stories of how humble and traditionalist HER mother was. Honey, we love OUR mothers more than YOURS! (Who's doing your PR anyway? perhaps you should get a non-traditionalist, sharp, smart "female" speech-writer to NEVER EVER write non sense and damage OUR image abroad or at home! We're smart, we exist and we're watching you with four eyes, we haven't forgiven your sucking up to an immensely unpopular government that still holds 59 political prisoners in jail for viewing their opinions and being journalists).
And so, once THIS cherry got over the cake, right on the top, we no longer could take it. The Armenian Weekly expressed concerns, women working in Women's Rights NGOs in Armenia expressed concerns, blogs went afire.
Calm after Storm? No? Ok. (With a shrug)
And now, too little too late, suddenly some non-"female" advisor whispered in the Minister's ears that this Zara's Murder and Ms traditionalist Armenia things were not making layers of the same cake and no icing could stick them together, here comes one more cherry - A Letter over the Confusion of the Ministry's Project Ms Armenia (click http://www.armenianweekly.com/2010/11/03/minister-clarifies-misunderstanding/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+ArmenianWeekly+(Armenian+Weekly) ) and here's the quote - there - again! Her letter goes - the criminal should be punished, Zara shouldn't have died in a sort of a demi-apologetic manner, no reference to the ABSOLUTE NECESSITY to the passage of the Law on the Crime of Domestic Violence. Once the hard part of BLAH is done, the Minister is back to Ms Armenia business with utterly undiminished spirit and I quote!
"In my personal opinion, an Armenian beauty should have good knowledge of the Armenian language, be a good cook, and preserve the image of an Armenian lady. As a woman and a political figure I feel obliged to talk about decency, humbleness, and modesty. My mother symbolizes the image of an Armenian woman for me, and she is modest, balanced, measured, and devoted to Armenian traditions and customs. I also believe that ill manners, immorality, and betrayal can destroy not only a family but a society."
Well, first of, no one expects a Minister to make the MAIN paragraph of what's supposed to be an explanatory letter a PERSONAL OPINION. We're not interested in your personal opinion. Open the Constitution of our country, open the Penal Code, open the Draft Law on the Crime Against Domestic Violence and THEN make a point OR do what your colleagues do in such cases - keep silent. And to make sure that our "female" voices are heard, that no second Zara can ever happen, that YOU do not get to impose YOUR way onto others, here are my tips to you:
Dear (questionably so) Minister,
- 1. When did it become obligatory of ALL Armenian women to resemble YOUR mother?
- 2. What constitutes centuries old traditions vs immorality and betrayal?
- 3. As much as you're referring to LAW to "rigorously" punishing Zaruhi's husband (what about the mother-in-law? was she a traditional woman, too?), YOU OUGHT TO REFER TO THE SAME LAW when talking of women's rights in Armenia.
- 4. Every Armenian national, "EVERY" being the keyword, has rights and freedoms and this is the ONLY context/angle, from which to discuss this horrendous case.
- 5. Running a hopeless PR campaign to get "into Diaspora's eyes" (as the saying goes), you CANNOT simply impose your personal rather conservative views on what an Armenian woman's image ought to be. Whether we cook or clean, or become good mothers or not become mothers at all, is NON of YOUR business.
- 6. How about running a campaign of having the next Ms Armenia winner recite her constitutional rights and interpret them personally!! I'm sure it'll be more difficult to get them learn it than cooking a casserole of dolma, but hey, you've got a nice budget, get them copies of the CONSTITUTION!!!
Oh, and PS, I'm a mom of three, one of whom autistic, whose rights to equal access to Armenian education you also do not concern yourself with, being too busy with the beauty pageant and all. I'm a mom of three married to a wonderful husband who spends 80% of his time working abroad to provide for that child's education and funding for an NGO - Break Autism Break Discrimination - to advocate for rights of Armenian children with Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia. I'm a mom with three degrees in International Law, two of them with distinction. I'm a Mom who speaks five languages in four different alphabets. I'm a mom of three who cooks the way she likes, who spends her evening out the way she likes, who reads what she likes...
And you know what the sad truth is? I'm not the only one... There are dozens of thousands of us, all living abroad dreading to place our sons' heads to the altar of the utterly corrupted army of ours where soldiers get murdered then claimed suicidal.
Now, YOU be a good lawfully elected and appointed Minister and answer US - what went so utterly wrong with our country that SO MANY women no longer live in Armenia? And how do you think (if!) you can win us back. Most certainly, this talk of traditionalism of cooking, kids and no personal time and space is serving no good, unless THIS has been your plan all along and YOU have been the only perfect candidate the current government could consume (let's face it my kind of women are simply too toxic for your kind of women, but hey, that's YOUR right to no obligation of ours WHATSOEVER!).
